Relationships can be tricky. Really tricky. Sometimes you are unable to see your situation clearly because you are right in the middle of it. You try to unravel the threads and make sense of things but often you end up in more of a muddle.
What if you had someone you trusted to give you outright, honest advice on your relationship? Your friends will often tell you what you want to hear. Your sister will always take your side whether you are right or wrong — after all, that’s her job. Your mother… well, you can’t always talk to your mother about problems with your spouse, your lover or your best friend.
So who can help? Tarot as a relationship counselor offers some amazing insights into relationships. Tarot can shine a light on areas you need to work on, or what you can change about yourself to improve your relationships with others.
The deck used for the sample readings is the Gilded Tarot by Ciro Marchetti.
Your relationship with you
The most important relationship is one we often overlook: our relationship with ourselves. Before we can love someone and they love us in return, we have to establish a healthy, loving relationship with our self.
It requires an honest assessment of who we think we are and the person we actually present to the world and to our relationships. Tarot can help immensely by showing you the gap between the two.
“Love yourself” relationship tarot spread:
1. Higher self
2. Earthly self
3. Closing the gap
Lay cards one and two vertically, then place card three alongside the other two forming a triangle.
Sample reading for Petra:
Higher self – Page of Cups. Petra’s higher self is open to love, easily forgives others and is willing to explore her emotions.
Earthly self – Four of Wands. Petra’s earthly self is focused on security. She feels a strong need to be protected. She can be loving and relaxed only within a safe environment.
Closing the gap – The Empress. Petra needs to acknowledge that all her feelings, thoughts and passions are equally valid. The Empress tells her that she can combine the purity of her higher self with her love of feeling secure. She can create a framework in which to express her feminine creative side. When she feels confident in herself, then she will attract an equally confident partner.
Improving a long term relationship
If you are involved in a long-term relationship it’s possible that it could do with improvement. Things have become a bit routine and you want to shake it up a little. Maybe bring back the excitement that made you so attracted to this person in the first place.
It is important to understand that you can never change another person, so setting conditions or asking for changes in behavior is not going to work. In the long run you will only cause damage to the partnership. This applies to any relationship whether romantic or otherwise.
You have to know that the only person you can change is you. The only behavior you can modify are your own. Tarot can help you determine what areas you can focus on to improve your interactions with another.
In it for keeps tarot relationship spread
1. What I need to understand
2. What needs changing
3. My personal challenge
Lay these three cards in a row.
Sample reading for Sarra:
What she needs to understand – The Hermit. Sarra must know that both partners must have their own space and that she should explore her potential as an individual as well as a partner. It’s possible that she has stopped seeing herself as ‘Sarra’, replacing her individuality with the relationship.
What needs changing – Five of Cups. Sarra can change her outlook from one of regret or focusing on the past to appreciating everything she has in the here and now. Counting one’s blessings is a short-cut to contentment and happiness.
Sarra’s personal challenge – King of Pentacles. Sarra sees the roles in the relationship as traditional and defined. If she delves deeper into the ‘personality traits’ of this card, she will discover that he is in favour of a long-lasting commitment but that he is also open to fun and enjoying ‘the good life’. Sarra’s challenge is to learn to live and love passionately within the boundaries of her marriage. As she changes, her marriage will too.
Simple one-card tarot relationship spreads
One-card spreads are very useful when you have a relationship question. A single card can be very succinct and straightforward in its advice. Try any of these:
1. What do I need to know about this relationship right now?
2. How should I demonstrate my feelings?
3. What behavior should I rein in?
4. What quality about myself should I accentuate?
5. How can I best nurture my relationship with my partner?
6. How do I connect with my highest self in order to improve my relationship?
You can create your own questions and combine them to make a multiple-card spread to help you find your answers.
Attracting a new love
If you are single but longing to be in a relationship then this fun tarot spell might just do the trick. Of course there are no guarantees and you should certainly not pin all your hopes on to it, but there’s nothing to lose by giving it a try.
Write down a list of attributes and characteristics you would like in a partner. Be specific and be positive; don’t write, “I don’t want my partner to have a bad temper.” Instead say, “My ideal partner is good natured and easy-going.”
Go through your tarot deck and select six cards that best represent the qualities you desire. Spread them out before you and look at them carefully. Change them if you want until you have the best fit. Lay them in a semi-circle in front of you. Place your list in the centre and put a small candle or tea-light in a safe holder on top of the list.
Light the candle while holding the thought that your love is on the way. Allow the candle to burn down before returning the cards to the deck. Bury or burn the list. It’s a good idea to have a copy so that when your love does arrive you can look back and see how well they match your specification. Now it’s done. Take your attention off the lack of a relationship and know that he or she will come into your life when the time is right.
Of course, relationships cover a wide spectrum and we have only been able to touch on a few issues here. Hopefully, you will remember that you have a trustworthy guide any time you have a question about a personal relationship. It is also important to remember that you should not make any life-changing decision based on the turn of a card.